I'll have to get a picture of traffic some time soon. It's been cloudy and drizzly and not-so-conducive to photography. However, I'd like to take a break from all the talk about food and forms to discuss a serious issue. There seems to be a widespread psychological epidemic affecting Egyptian drivers today. It may be the smog. It may be the old cars. But here I'm going to argue that this obsessive compulsive honking disorder runs deeper into the urban Egyptian psyche. Just imagine...
You are out automobubbling... three lane roads packed five across... people crossing the street everywhere, car by car; they might just walk right in front of you, but you can't hit them. Because if you do, you will always be to blame... And so you honk. You honk long and often.
And it doesn't stop there.
+Suppose someone in front of you is not going fast enough, despite any, umm, how do you say..."speed limit." Just give 'em a little honk.
+Suppose you are a dirty cabdriver and there is an attractive woman on the side of the road. Why not give a little honk just to see if she looks?
+Suppose traffic has stopped at least three cars in front of you. There's no hope of you moving. You might as well lay on the horn.
+Better yet, Parliament has just let out and the guards have stopped traffic around the House (and my apartment). You know this happens nearly every weekday, and you cannot go anywhere until the guards allow you. Why not show your frustration by laying on the horn? And when traffic finally starts moving again, why not honk again to show your approval?
+And when your favorite Cairo football team wins, you'll find your best percussive instrument right in the middle of your steering wheel.
+So what happens when you're on the road all alone? Traffic has suddenly subsided leaving you with a wide open peaceful road on which to command as many lanes as you like. You haven't honked in at least 30 seconds. Your right hand is getting twitchy, sweaty with anticipation. Soon anxiety sets in. "What is my purpose? Have I become obsolete, simply sharing this wheel with Do-Nothing Lefty over there?"
It'll be ok. Go ahead, just give it a quick little beep beep. Ahhhh. That's better. And look, you've finally hit some traffic to calm you down.
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5 comments:
Gee, and isn't driving there really a sport and not so much a mode of transport anyway?
Remember: Nose position is everything when determining that quaint notion of "right of way". Ok, almost everything- big trucks can overrule this.
as an avid horn honker i support my egyptian brethren in their horn honking.
"automobubbling"...
This shout-out to the Curved Dash Oldsmobile is brought to you by the Cairo Opera House.
Ranny and I salute you!
Hilarious. Good post phil
Honk to get rid of your frustration at whatever,and to be manly and to be seen to be DOING SOMETHING or don't honk and let the rage build up!!!!!!!!!
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